Student 1 was talking to Student 2 about how her dad was going to take the next "big kid" who acted out to his/her parents and have him/her explain what they'd done wrong. Student 2 said, "You mean like, if they pick their nose and wipe their boogers on you?" Student 1 said, "Yeah! I don't pick my nose anymore. I used to do that when I was younger, but now I'm over that."
One student brought up how God is going to kill Satan and another asked me when. I told them that nobody knows and another student asked, "Not even Jesus' sidekick?"
One student heard Spanish music being played from a car in the parking lot right outside our playground and said, "Someone's playing Italian music out there!" and another said, "Jan [our school secretary] might be rockin' out to Italian music!"
Two students (male and female) were wearing Santa hats and others were asking if they were married. The boy said, "No. I'm Santa and I drive the sleigh. She's Mrs. Clause and she makes the toys."
First graders can be quite funny. Here's a collection of quotes from the 2009-2010, 2010-2011, and 2011-2012 school years. Some are just plain cute, others sweet, but some are downright hilarious! Enjoy a laugh or two!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
November 2011
"My mom spilled her coffee groins on my homework!"
While eating scrumptious cookies, the students were saying how good they tasted and one student said to the rest, "You can thank God that He gave you taste buds!"
A student asked me if I had ever had deer meat, and I was trying to think if I have. Then she told me, "It's jerky. You mostly just keep it in your mouth." Is there other meat that you DON'T keep in your mouth?"
I was telling a student how I am a master at getting out knots in shoelaces and he said, "Maybe that's your gift from God." (In Bible, we had just learned about Joseph's gift of being able to interpret dreams.)
A student went home with a stomach ache, so I asked her how she was feeling when she got back to school. She said, "Much better. Yesterday, when I got home, I had diabetes."
A student was talking about how he desperately wants a particular Lego set. He said, "I want it SO GOODLY!"
"I'm so HOT! I'm sweating like a.....POTATO!"
While eating scrumptious cookies, the students were saying how good they tasted and one student said to the rest, "You can thank God that He gave you taste buds!"
A student asked me if I had ever had deer meat, and I was trying to think if I have. Then she told me, "It's jerky. You mostly just keep it in your mouth." Is there other meat that you DON'T keep in your mouth?"
I was telling a student how I am a master at getting out knots in shoelaces and he said, "Maybe that's your gift from God." (In Bible, we had just learned about Joseph's gift of being able to interpret dreams.)
A student went home with a stomach ache, so I asked her how she was feeling when she got back to school. She said, "Much better. Yesterday, when I got home, I had diabetes."
A student was talking about how he desperately wants a particular Lego set. He said, "I want it SO GOODLY!"
"I'm so HOT! I'm sweating like a.....POTATO!"
October 2011
While praying after flag salute in the morning, some crows were making a huge racket. After prayer was over, one student said, "Even the birds are praising God!"
During prayer, one student prayed: "Lord, help everyone to be grateful for the things they already have."
After asking the students to get their workbooks ready, a student said under his breath, "Yes, turn to page 31, and then I will take you to my favorite place (dramatic pause)...(whisper voice)...RECESS!"
I was describing the Bible story of Abram getting ready to go rescue Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah, and how Abram rounded up all the men he knew who had been trained for battle and how he got them their weapons, etc. Then I explained that they started heading toward where Lot was living and one student said, "Were they ninjas?"
"Before my grandma died, she made me a bank account. That means when I'm older I won't have to walk! I can drive a car instead!"
A student who was eating a fruit roll-up at Snacktime today said, "Mmmm! I love these! They taste like lipstick!"
During prayer, one student prayed: "Lord, help everyone to be grateful for the things they already have."
After asking the students to get their workbooks ready, a student said under his breath, "Yes, turn to page 31, and then I will take you to my favorite place (dramatic pause)...(whisper voice)...RECESS!"
I was describing the Bible story of Abram getting ready to go rescue Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah, and how Abram rounded up all the men he knew who had been trained for battle and how he got them their weapons, etc. Then I explained that they started heading toward where Lot was living and one student said, "Were they ninjas?"
"Before my grandma died, she made me a bank account. That means when I'm older I won't have to walk! I can drive a car instead!"
A student who was eating a fruit roll-up at Snacktime today said, "Mmmm! I love these! They taste like lipstick!"
September 2011
While working on a worksheet, one student who is very shy raised her hand and said, "Miss Cunningham, I really like being in first grade." My heart melted! :)
(Interesting piece of advice I got today) "I know how to warm up your breath, if you're still in bed. Just open the window."
While they were playing football at recess, two students kept shouting, "Out of balance!" when the ball went out of bounds. I didn't have the heart to correct them. Is that bad?
"Miss Cunningham, did you know I'm famous? I'm in 6,000 movies and 4 magazines!"
During prayer this morning, "God, we give YOU the glory for this beautiful, beautiful school."
(Interesting piece of advice I got today) "I know how to warm up your breath, if you're still in bed. Just open the window."
While they were playing football at recess, two students kept shouting, "Out of balance!" when the ball went out of bounds. I didn't have the heart to correct them. Is that bad?
"Miss Cunningham, did you know I'm famous? I'm in 6,000 movies and 4 magazines!"
During prayer this morning, "God, we give YOU the glory for this beautiful, beautiful school."
August 2011
Students were decorating a Homework Folder cover and discussing skin color. (Soapbox for a moment- whoever decided that peach is called skin color needs to get their head examined and open their eyes! Not ALL people have peach colored skin!) One student said, "When I'm in the shade I have brown skin, and when I am in the sun, I have regular colored skin."
We were getting ready to do Science today, and when I told them we would be doing a lab, some of them were wondering what "doing a lab" meant. One student said, "I wonder if we'll get to dress up in costumes!"
"It's so hot, my eyes are sprinkling!"
Student 1: "Eeew! Is that a booger?" (pointing to Student 2's finger)
Student 2: "No, I was crying, and then I wiped my nose and a booger slipped out and now I need a kleenex!"
"Feel my hair please. It's straight! Not prickly!"
"I'm freezing hot!"
Student 1 says to Student 2, while walking over to me, "Bring the pencil sharpener and your pencil. Don't ask me why. I'll tell you when we get there."
We were getting ready to do Science today, and when I told them we would be doing a lab, some of them were wondering what "doing a lab" meant. One student said, "I wonder if we'll get to dress up in costumes!"
"It's so hot, my eyes are sprinkling!"
Student 1: "Eeew! Is that a booger?" (pointing to Student 2's finger)
Student 2: "No, I was crying, and then I wiped my nose and a booger slipped out and now I need a kleenex!"
"Feel my hair please. It's straight! Not prickly!"
"I'm freezing hot!"
Student 1 says to Student 2, while walking over to me, "Bring the pencil sharpener and your pencil. Don't ask me why. I'll tell you when we get there."
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