During recess today, the girls in my class were attempting cheerleading lifts with each other. I told them, "Let's not do those at school. We don't want any broken bones, broken heads,..." and a student filled in, "Broken hamburger smells.....(after getting a weird look from those surrounding her)...what?! I smell hamburgers!"
Student: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: "Nope."
Student: "Are you dating anyone?"
Me: "Nope."
Student: "Why not? No boys?"
Me: Shrugged my shoulders
Student: "Well, I think that you should be dating, because you're just the prettiest girl in town!"
First graders can be quite funny. Here's a collection of quotes from the 2009-2010, 2010-2011, and 2011-2012 school years. Some are just plain cute, others sweet, but some are downright hilarious! Enjoy a laugh or two!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
May 2012
A debate with a student about the routine of the day led me to ask him the question, "Who's the teacher? Who are you going to trust?" and he responded with, "THE LORD!" Had to give him that one. :)
"Did you know that my cell phone can call old people, like the ones from the Bible?"
"I'm talking so much I forgot what I was saying..."
A student and I were talking about how we will be singing tomorrow for some guests that will be coming to our classroom and she asked,very concernedly, "What if someone is allergic to singing?"
One student was telling me how she had seen a heron in the morning before getting to school and another chimed in and said, "Oh! I saw one of those, too! And also....wait.....what was my also?..."
Two students read together and compared their reading speeds. One said, "We're like the same temperature! We read at the same speed!"
One student said to another, "Hurry up! I'm growing old!"
Two students were swinging on the swings, talking about how fun it will be to grow up together, go to high school together, and have the same job. Then one said, "What do you wanna do when you grow up? Teach people about Jesus?"
A group of girls were playing Truth or Dare at Playtime and would come perform the dare in front of me and another teacher. One dare consisted of the group shaking their booties from side to side while the leader of the pack chanted, "Booty to the left, booty to the right, booty to the left, booty to the right. Booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty!" I almost died laughing!
Upon seeing a tented house in the neighborhood where our school is located, a student said, "Look! The circus has come to town!"
While lining up at the end of lunch today, a student (who I hadn't spoken with the entire lunch) raised his hand to tell me, "And also, sometimes I need a wet Q-tip for my ears because I get wax in them."
Student A got hurt and her knee was bleeding, so I asked Student B if she could help be Student A's crutch as we walked over to Carline. Student A said through tears to Student B, "Thanks for helping me. You're a really good friend." My heart melted. :)
A student came to tell me, "When I am older I am going to build an academy and it will have lots of rooms in it....I will be the principal and maybe my parents will help me too...but they'll probably have beards by then and be pretty old..." I said, "Well, hopefully your mom won't have a beard, but maybe your dad will..." He responded, "Well...they'll just be crippled..."
"I wish you were the teacher for every grade because you are so nice and then I could have you every year."
One student said to another, "Can you push me that item that's underneath your desk? It happens to be my shoe."
"Did you know that my cell phone can call old people, like the ones from the Bible?"
"I'm talking so much I forgot what I was saying..."
A student and I were talking about how we will be singing tomorrow for some guests that will be coming to our classroom and she asked,very concernedly, "What if someone is allergic to singing?"
One student was telling me how she had seen a heron in the morning before getting to school and another chimed in and said, "Oh! I saw one of those, too! And also....wait.....what was my also?..."
Two students read together and compared their reading speeds. One said, "We're like the same temperature! We read at the same speed!"
One student said to another, "Hurry up! I'm growing old!"
Two students were swinging on the swings, talking about how fun it will be to grow up together, go to high school together, and have the same job. Then one said, "What do you wanna do when you grow up? Teach people about Jesus?"
A group of girls were playing Truth or Dare at Playtime and would come perform the dare in front of me and another teacher. One dare consisted of the group shaking their booties from side to side while the leader of the pack chanted, "Booty to the left, booty to the right, booty to the left, booty to the right. Booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty!" I almost died laughing!
Upon seeing a tented house in the neighborhood where our school is located, a student said, "Look! The circus has come to town!"
While lining up at the end of lunch today, a student (who I hadn't spoken with the entire lunch) raised his hand to tell me, "And also, sometimes I need a wet Q-tip for my ears because I get wax in them."
Student A got hurt and her knee was bleeding, so I asked Student B if she could help be Student A's crutch as we walked over to Carline. Student A said through tears to Student B, "Thanks for helping me. You're a really good friend." My heart melted. :)
A student came to tell me, "When I am older I am going to build an academy and it will have lots of rooms in it....I will be the principal and maybe my parents will help me too...but they'll probably have beards by then and be pretty old..." I said, "Well, hopefully your mom won't have a beard, but maybe your dad will..." He responded, "Well...they'll just be crippled..."
"I wish you were the teacher for every grade because you are so nice and then I could have you every year."
One student said to another, "Can you push me that item that's underneath your desk? It happens to be my shoe."
April 2012
A student invited me to his birthday party and I told him that I will probably be going to a baby shower that weekend, so I wouldn't be able to come. He then asked me, "Well, which is funner....a baby shower or a Lego birthday party?"
A student read the word 'scientist' in her reader, and said, "A SCIENCE TEST! That's what I wanna be when I grow up!"
My students were watching an Easter movie about the death and resurrection of Jesus today. One student saw Jesus hanging on the cross with his arms spread wide and said, "They could just tickle him until he laughs to death!" Yes, that would have been a much more enjoyable way to die...
A student asked for clarification on the bottom portion of his handwriting page today (see photo). After I explained it and he answered "yes" for both questions he said, "Well that's not good! There are no "nos"!" I explained that in this case you shouldn't have any "nos" and he said, "What if the question was 'Did you pick your boogers when you were doing this?!'"
A student prayed, "Please help my dog, Charlie, who got skunked last night. He smells like my mom's moldy lasagna."
A student read the word 'scientist' in her reader, and said, "A SCIENCE TEST! That's what I wanna be when I grow up!"
My students were watching an Easter movie about the death and resurrection of Jesus today. One student saw Jesus hanging on the cross with his arms spread wide and said, "They could just tickle him until he laughs to death!" Yes, that would have been a much more enjoyable way to die...
A student asked for clarification on the bottom portion of his handwriting page today (see photo). After I explained it and he answered "yes" for both questions he said, "Well that's not good! There are no "nos"!" I explained that in this case you shouldn't have any "nos" and he said, "What if the question was 'Did you pick your boogers when you were doing this?!'"
A student prayed, "Please help my dog, Charlie, who got skunked last night. He smells like my mom's moldy lasagna."
March 2012
"I'm going to be president someday because when I walk down the street, I make people smile."
After discussing the difference between Miss and Mrs. (again), we were talking about how most of the teachers at our school are married. Then came this quote:
Student: "Miss Cunningham, when are you gonna get married?"
Me: "I don't know."
Student: "I really want you to be married. I'm DYING for you to be that way!"
Student: "I think you were famous, from in the past."
Me: "Why do you think I was famous?"
Student: Takes my hand and points out my shimmery, gold nail polish and says, "This is famous. You sing famous and you TALK famous," then proceeds to ask the class, "Everybody, raise your hand if you think Miss Cunningham was famous in the past!" Too funny!
After discussing the difference between Miss and Mrs. (again), we were talking about how most of the teachers at our school are married. Then came this quote:
Student: "Miss Cunningham, when are you gonna get married?"
Me: "I don't know."
Student: "I really want you to be married. I'm DYING for you to be that way!"
Student: "I think you were famous, from in the past."
Me: "Why do you think I was famous?"
Student: Takes my hand and points out my shimmery, gold nail polish and says, "This is famous. You sing famous and you TALK famous," then proceeds to ask the class, "Everybody, raise your hand if you think Miss Cunningham was famous in the past!" Too funny!
February 2012
On Valentine's Day a student greeted me on the playground with a box of See's candy, saying, "Happy Valentine's Day Miss Cunningham!" while handing me the box. I thanked him and took the box. Then he took it back, turned it over to the nutrition facts and said, "Okay, now let me tell you how much fat there is...."
As we were lining up to head home for the day, one student shyly came up to me and said, "Miss Cunningham, I wanted to tell you that you have a good voice."
"I have to warn you; I might fall asleep in class today."
While Pastor Paul was burning a palm branch for our Ash Wednesday chapel, one student said, "Mmm! It smells like BBQ!"
Student: (working on a math page) "Do you know what 6+7 is?"
Me: "Yes."
Student: "What is it?" (as if to trick me into telling him the answer)
Me: "I'm not gonna tell you!"
Student: (with a mischievous laugh) "Tee hee hee."
While the kids were playing soccer at recess today, one student was sitting by me eating his lunch. The ball came flying toward him (but didn't hit him) and the students who were playing retrieved the ball and carried on with the game. After the ball had been retrieved, he said to me, "I thought the ball was going to hit me, so I closed my eyes and snorted!"
When the ball went over the fence at recess today, I told the kids to watch for a nice person who might cross the parking lot and be able to get it for them. When no one came, the kids were beginning to get restless, so I suggested asking the birds to get the ball for them. They disagreed with the idea, saying that a bird couldn't get the ball. I said, "Well, maybe if you ask it nicely it will!" So, they started saying, "Tweet, tweet? Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet." HILARIOUS!
Student 1 was sharing her Child of the Week poster and talking about the pictures on it. She said, "Oh (Student 2's name), do you remember this dress that I wore at my birthday party?" and Student 2 said, "Yes, that was a beautiful sight!"
As we were lining up to head home for the day, one student shyly came up to me and said, "Miss Cunningham, I wanted to tell you that you have a good voice."
"I have to warn you; I might fall asleep in class today."
While Pastor Paul was burning a palm branch for our Ash Wednesday chapel, one student said, "Mmm! It smells like BBQ!"
Student: (working on a math page) "Do you know what 6+7 is?"
Me: "Yes."
Student: "What is it?" (as if to trick me into telling him the answer)
Me: "I'm not gonna tell you!"
Student: (with a mischievous laugh) "Tee hee hee."
While the kids were playing soccer at recess today, one student was sitting by me eating his lunch. The ball came flying toward him (but didn't hit him) and the students who were playing retrieved the ball and carried on with the game. After the ball had been retrieved, he said to me, "I thought the ball was going to hit me, so I closed my eyes and snorted!"
When the ball went over the fence at recess today, I told the kids to watch for a nice person who might cross the parking lot and be able to get it for them. When no one came, the kids were beginning to get restless, so I suggested asking the birds to get the ball for them. They disagreed with the idea, saying that a bird couldn't get the ball. I said, "Well, maybe if you ask it nicely it will!" So, they started saying, "Tweet, tweet? Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet." HILARIOUS!
Student 1 was sharing her Child of the Week poster and talking about the pictures on it. She said, "Oh (Student 2's name), do you remember this dress that I wore at my birthday party?" and Student 2 said, "Yes, that was a beautiful sight!"
January 2012
We did a New Year's Resolution project in my class today and made little people out of construction paper, wearing party hats.
Student: "Can I put a mustache on mine?"
Me: "No, cause I want it to look like you, and you don't have a mustache."
Student: "I'm GROWING one!"
I asked the kids what their favorite thing about being at our school is and one said, "Um, probably having pretty much the best teacher ever!" :) My heart is happy. Sometimes, it's the little things like this that make teaching totally worth it.
Kid's quote from today came from a very imaginative boy, who was in his little Star Wars world while walking in line: "Let's think of a weapon that's not so dangerous. Hmm...oh! I KNOW! How 'bout a BOMB?!"
Out of pure silliness, while walking to the library (we pass by bricks on the way there) a student was using a tone of voice like he uses when reciting a Bible verse and said, "Proverbs 49:30....Bricks are good for you to have every day."
The story we read during Reading Groups had an explanation at the beginning that said, "This story does not have an ending. How do you think it should end?" One student responded to the question by saying, very matter-of-factly, "With a period."
Student: "Can I put a mustache on mine?"
Me: "No, cause I want it to look like you, and you don't have a mustache."
Student: "I'm GROWING one!"
I asked the kids what their favorite thing about being at our school is and one said, "Um, probably having pretty much the best teacher ever!" :) My heart is happy. Sometimes, it's the little things like this that make teaching totally worth it.
Kid's quote from today came from a very imaginative boy, who was in his little Star Wars world while walking in line: "Let's think of a weapon that's not so dangerous. Hmm...oh! I KNOW! How 'bout a BOMB?!"
Out of pure silliness, while walking to the library (we pass by bricks on the way there) a student was using a tone of voice like he uses when reciting a Bible verse and said, "Proverbs 49:30....Bricks are good for you to have every day."
The story we read during Reading Groups had an explanation at the beginning that said, "This story does not have an ending. How do you think it should end?" One student responded to the question by saying, very matter-of-factly, "With a period."
Thursday, May 24, 2012
December 2011
Student 1 was talking to Student 2 about how her dad was going to take the next "big kid" who acted out to his/her parents and have him/her explain what they'd done wrong. Student 2 said, "You mean like, if they pick their nose and wipe their boogers on you?" Student 1 said, "Yeah! I don't pick my nose anymore. I used to do that when I was younger, but now I'm over that."
One student brought up how God is going to kill Satan and another asked me when. I told them that nobody knows and another student asked, "Not even Jesus' sidekick?"
One student heard Spanish music being played from a car in the parking lot right outside our playground and said, "Someone's playing Italian music out there!" and another said, "Jan [our school secretary] might be rockin' out to Italian music!"
Two students (male and female) were wearing Santa hats and others were asking if they were married. The boy said, "No. I'm Santa and I drive the sleigh. She's Mrs. Clause and she makes the toys."
One student brought up how God is going to kill Satan and another asked me when. I told them that nobody knows and another student asked, "Not even Jesus' sidekick?"
One student heard Spanish music being played from a car in the parking lot right outside our playground and said, "Someone's playing Italian music out there!" and another said, "Jan [our school secretary] might be rockin' out to Italian music!"
Two students (male and female) were wearing Santa hats and others were asking if they were married. The boy said, "No. I'm Santa and I drive the sleigh. She's Mrs. Clause and she makes the toys."
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