"My mom spilled her coffee groins on my homework!"
While eating scrumptious cookies, the students were saying how good they tasted and one student said to the rest, "You can thank God that He gave you taste buds!"
A student asked me if I had ever had deer meat, and I was trying to think if I have. Then she told me, "It's jerky. You mostly just keep it in your mouth." Is there other meat that you DON'T keep in your mouth?"
I was telling a student how I am a master at getting out knots in shoelaces and he said, "Maybe that's your gift from God." (In Bible, we had just learned about Joseph's gift of being able to interpret dreams.)
A student went home with a stomach ache, so I asked her how she was feeling when she got back to school. She said, "Much better. Yesterday, when I got home, I had diabetes."
A student was talking about how he desperately wants a particular Lego set. He said, "I want it SO GOODLY!"
"I'm so HOT! I'm sweating like a.....POTATO!"
First graders can be quite funny. Here's a collection of quotes from the 2009-2010, 2010-2011, and 2011-2012 school years. Some are just plain cute, others sweet, but some are downright hilarious! Enjoy a laugh or two!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
October 2011
While praying after flag salute in the morning, some crows were making a huge racket. After prayer was over, one student said, "Even the birds are praising God!"
During prayer, one student prayed: "Lord, help everyone to be grateful for the things they already have."
After asking the students to get their workbooks ready, a student said under his breath, "Yes, turn to page 31, and then I will take you to my favorite place (dramatic pause)...(whisper voice)...RECESS!"
I was describing the Bible story of Abram getting ready to go rescue Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah, and how Abram rounded up all the men he knew who had been trained for battle and how he got them their weapons, etc. Then I explained that they started heading toward where Lot was living and one student said, "Were they ninjas?"
"Before my grandma died, she made me a bank account. That means when I'm older I won't have to walk! I can drive a car instead!"
A student who was eating a fruit roll-up at Snacktime today said, "Mmmm! I love these! They taste like lipstick!"
During prayer, one student prayed: "Lord, help everyone to be grateful for the things they already have."
After asking the students to get their workbooks ready, a student said under his breath, "Yes, turn to page 31, and then I will take you to my favorite place (dramatic pause)...(whisper voice)...RECESS!"
I was describing the Bible story of Abram getting ready to go rescue Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah, and how Abram rounded up all the men he knew who had been trained for battle and how he got them their weapons, etc. Then I explained that they started heading toward where Lot was living and one student said, "Were they ninjas?"
"Before my grandma died, she made me a bank account. That means when I'm older I won't have to walk! I can drive a car instead!"
A student who was eating a fruit roll-up at Snacktime today said, "Mmmm! I love these! They taste like lipstick!"
September 2011
While working on a worksheet, one student who is very shy raised her hand and said, "Miss Cunningham, I really like being in first grade." My heart melted! :)
(Interesting piece of advice I got today) "I know how to warm up your breath, if you're still in bed. Just open the window."
While they were playing football at recess, two students kept shouting, "Out of balance!" when the ball went out of bounds. I didn't have the heart to correct them. Is that bad?
"Miss Cunningham, did you know I'm famous? I'm in 6,000 movies and 4 magazines!"
During prayer this morning, "God, we give YOU the glory for this beautiful, beautiful school."
(Interesting piece of advice I got today) "I know how to warm up your breath, if you're still in bed. Just open the window."
While they were playing football at recess, two students kept shouting, "Out of balance!" when the ball went out of bounds. I didn't have the heart to correct them. Is that bad?
"Miss Cunningham, did you know I'm famous? I'm in 6,000 movies and 4 magazines!"
During prayer this morning, "God, we give YOU the glory for this beautiful, beautiful school."
August 2011
Students were decorating a Homework Folder cover and discussing skin color. (Soapbox for a moment- whoever decided that peach is called skin color needs to get their head examined and open their eyes! Not ALL people have peach colored skin!) One student said, "When I'm in the shade I have brown skin, and when I am in the sun, I have regular colored skin."
We were getting ready to do Science today, and when I told them we would be doing a lab, some of them were wondering what "doing a lab" meant. One student said, "I wonder if we'll get to dress up in costumes!"
"It's so hot, my eyes are sprinkling!"
Student 1: "Eeew! Is that a booger?" (pointing to Student 2's finger)
Student 2: "No, I was crying, and then I wiped my nose and a booger slipped out and now I need a kleenex!"
"Feel my hair please. It's straight! Not prickly!"
"I'm freezing hot!"
Student 1 says to Student 2, while walking over to me, "Bring the pencil sharpener and your pencil. Don't ask me why. I'll tell you when we get there."
We were getting ready to do Science today, and when I told them we would be doing a lab, some of them were wondering what "doing a lab" meant. One student said, "I wonder if we'll get to dress up in costumes!"
"It's so hot, my eyes are sprinkling!"
Student 1: "Eeew! Is that a booger?" (pointing to Student 2's finger)
Student 2: "No, I was crying, and then I wiped my nose and a booger slipped out and now I need a kleenex!"
"Feel my hair please. It's straight! Not prickly!"
"I'm freezing hot!"
Student 1 says to Student 2, while walking over to me, "Bring the pencil sharpener and your pencil. Don't ask me why. I'll tell you when we get there."
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
June 2011
June 1
After watching the entire Kindergarten class eat cupcakes for a birthday celebration, watching a parent offer me a cupcake from her son's birthday, and watching me decline the offer, a student of mine said, "I think I wanna be a teacher when I grow up....just for the cupcakes!"
After watching the entire Kindergarten class eat cupcakes for a birthday celebration, watching a parent offer me a cupcake from her son's birthday, and watching me decline the offer, a student of mine said, "I think I wanna be a teacher when I grow up....just for the cupcakes!"
Thursday, May 26, 2011
May 2011
May 5
After bandaging a wound on Student 1, I told Students 2 and 3, who helped me with the process,
"Thank you for being such great nurses!" and Student 2 said,
"I am a nurse and (Student 3's name) is a doctor."
Then Student 4 came along and said, "And I'm an old man, dressed in DISGUISE!"
May 9
While trying to figure out which raccoons in our story matched the correct descriptions, one raccoon was left, and I asked,
"Well then, who is this?" and one student responded with, "A random citizen!"
A student got in line at our morning meeting spot out on the playground and said, "Something about pickles?"....No, "Good Morning!" or "Hello!", just "Something about pickles?"
May 10
"What if the whole world was made out of sea snails?"
May 11
A student noticed a necklace I was wearing and told me she really liked it. Then she came up to me later and said, "Your necklace! It's just making me........sweat! I want it SO BAD!"
May 16
My class has been watching meal worms turn into beetles and one student said, "My beetles might eat each other."
I said, "Yep. That's kind of the deal for beetles though. It's just part of life for them."
Then she said, "But....it's not going to be a bloody situation.....is it?"
May 23
"Miss Cunningham. People keep following me around. I don't know if I'm famous or what, but they just keep following me!"
May 24
Journal entry from today:
"The pirate got to egypt. The pirate talked to Fairo(Pharaoh) in his ship. The pirate tuck (took) us to Fairo. One uv the kids snuck out. He was named Isaiah. He fighted Fairo. Fairo fell overboard. He drowned."
May 26
"Can you get lice from ladybug pee?"
"Does God shave His head?"
May 31
"I heard a rumor that a whale was getting married WAY out in the ocean and I really wanna go check it out!"
After bandaging a wound on Student 1, I told Students 2 and 3, who helped me with the process,
"Thank you for being such great nurses!" and Student 2 said,
"I am a nurse and (Student 3's name) is a doctor."
Then Student 4 came along and said, "And I'm an old man, dressed in DISGUISE!"
May 9
While trying to figure out which raccoons in our story matched the correct descriptions, one raccoon was left, and I asked,
"Well then, who is this?" and one student responded with, "A random citizen!"
A student got in line at our morning meeting spot out on the playground and said, "Something about pickles?"....No, "Good Morning!" or "Hello!", just "Something about pickles?"
May 10
"What if the whole world was made out of sea snails?"
May 11
A student noticed a necklace I was wearing and told me she really liked it. Then she came up to me later and said, "Your necklace! It's just making me........sweat! I want it SO BAD!"
May 16
My class has been watching meal worms turn into beetles and one student said, "My beetles might eat each other."
I said, "Yep. That's kind of the deal for beetles though. It's just part of life for them."
Then she said, "But....it's not going to be a bloody situation.....is it?"
May 23
"Miss Cunningham. People keep following me around. I don't know if I'm famous or what, but they just keep following me!"
May 24
Journal entry from today:
"The pirate got to egypt. The pirate talked to Fairo(Pharaoh) in his ship. The pirate tuck (took) us to Fairo. One uv the kids snuck out. He was named Isaiah. He fighted Fairo. Fairo fell overboard. He drowned."
May 26
"Can you get lice from ladybug pee?"
"Does God shave His head?"
May 31
"I heard a rumor that a whale was getting married WAY out in the ocean and I really wanna go check it out!"
April 2011
April 4
A student told me today, "You have ALL the muscles!"
Another student decided that since we were subtracting from 11 and she only has 10 fingers, she'd use her tongue as 11.
April 5
A current Kindergartener had this conversation with me today:
"Miss Cunningham, are you gonna be the first grade teacher next year when we get to first grade?"
"I sure am!"
"YAY!"
April 11
I had this conversation with a student today:
"Why do you not have a husband?"
"God hasn't given me one yet."
"Well....are you gonna get one?"
"I hope so!"
"Maybe you'll have children, too."
"Maybe, but I have to have a husband first."
"Yeah...you get a husband...get married...have kids....get a house...and own room service."
April 17
From last week: After cleaning up bird poop on a picnic table for the umpteenth time, a student asked,
"Why do birds poop wherever they want?"
I said, "Because they aren't potty trained like we are," and he responded with, "It'd be cool if we could train them to go in the trash can."
April 21
"I just can't imagine Miss Cunningham being young..........(long pause)........like seven. I feel like I'm gonna be seven my entire life and be in first grade forever."
A student told me today, "You have ALL the muscles!"
Another student decided that since we were subtracting from 11 and she only has 10 fingers, she'd use her tongue as 11.
April 5
A current Kindergartener had this conversation with me today:
"Miss Cunningham, are you gonna be the first grade teacher next year when we get to first grade?"
"I sure am!"
"YAY!"
April 11
I had this conversation with a student today:
"Why do you not have a husband?"
"God hasn't given me one yet."
"Well....are you gonna get one?"
"I hope so!"
"Maybe you'll have children, too."
"Maybe, but I have to have a husband first."
"Yeah...you get a husband...get married...have kids....get a house...and own room service."
April 17
From last week: After cleaning up bird poop on a picnic table for the umpteenth time, a student asked,
"Why do birds poop wherever they want?"
I said, "Because they aren't potty trained like we are," and he responded with, "It'd be cool if we could train them to go in the trash can."
April 21
"I just can't imagine Miss Cunningham being young..........(long pause)........like seven. I feel like I'm gonna be seven my entire life and be in first grade forever."
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